Tears of an Angel
by NamidaNoHao63
Summary: eventually a two-shot of two previous poems. Yoh is stressed and Anna isn't helping. Plus the death of his brother isn't adding well to the matter. What will Anna do when she finds what Yoh has been hiding from her? nonyaoi. weird title, i know...


hey there! back again... of course with just another one-shot. but this isn't just any other one shot. if you read the two poems before (Anything for You and Just Another Kid) this is the one-shot that goes with them. credit for the idea goes to SmartAngel, so i thank you dearly! XD

yeah yeah, you know the thing everyone else does; i don't kown Shaman King...

* * *

"YOH!!" Anna roared from downstairs of the inn. She stood at the base of them, her hands clenched into fists against her waist as she glared up at the jagged things.

"Down here NOW!!"

There was no response.

"I know you're up there! You haven't moved from there for almost a day now!! Get down here! Make dinner!"

Yoh was too busy choking back sobs to reply to her wretched shrieks. He sat on his untidy futon where the sheets and comforter lay in bunches. She was forcing him to do so much lately… couldn't she have ANY sympathy…? He had just killed his own brother. How did she think he was going to take it? Throw a party?

Throw Kleenex instead; he was going to need them.

He jolted slightly, and pulled out an old pen and a softly wrinkled stash of paper. That was perfect to continue with the poem he had started to write. He'd become… a bit more open minded, if that were the right way to put it. Though he tucked himself away in his room, he was now a bit more poetic, one would assume. What else was he to do with the hours he had to himself (or so he wanted them to be, Anna never really let him be. She was constantly yelling terrible things up at him like she was now)?

The pen jittered in his trembling hand, and he found it arduous to write. He became more frustrated, and bit down on his lip, under all the tears.

He simply dropped the pen (though had the intentions to throw it instead, but he knew if he did, Anna would storm into his room anyway. Even break down the door if she had to, for he had it locked, fuming about what a racket he was making despite the fact it would only produce a small snapping noise) and pulled his arms over his chest, clutching his shoulders as if in attempt to cease their continuous quaking. His face felt hot, of course, for he suffered almost two hours of this none-stop crying (which he had a right to do) and he took small breathes trying to relieve himself of the outward sobs that plagued his chest and lungs.

"Yoh, get down here NOW!!!" came the screech from downstairs.

He'd had enough of her constant ranting and stood swiftly, directing his voice to the door.

"NO! Just leave me alone! You can make dinner for yourself for once, it won't kill you!" he jolted backward realizing what he had done…

_trump trump trump trump thump…_

_WHAM._

Anna was at his nearly unhinged door, casting a deadly glare. She paid absolutely NO attention to his streaming, now slightly frightened tears.

"Fine; I'll make it for myself ONLY. YOU won't get ANYTHING for that." She hissed.

"The only thing YOU get is 500 laps around the large block with your 20lb weights on. Go NOW."

Yoh's eyes welled with fresh tears, his mouth trembled and his knees shook mercilessly beneath him. He wanted to collapse then, and just will it all away… A sob or two escaped his mouth, and Anna stalked up to him, planting her 'phantom left' across his cheek with full-force.

"STOP CRYING." She demanded.

He shook his head signaling he couldn't and held his quivering mouth closed, holding down the numerous sobs in his chest. A shaky mumble caught up in his throat and she threatened to slap again as he flinched. He hid his face hoping to shield it from her painful strikes.

Now Anna had enough. First he disobeys her, then he yells at her… and now he won't do as she says? She thrust forward and took him by the collar and dragged him downstairs.

"No…! No! Anna, stop! I'm sorry…!" he sobbed weakly as she towed him down the steps, causing him to stumble for she had the BACK of his neck now and he faced the wrong direction.

"Please..! I didn't mean to yell at you! I'm sorry…!"

"Wailing about it isn't going to get you anywhere, Yoh." She snapped; her eyes still set forward as they reached the bottom.

"NOTHING will get you out of your training. Not even the death of your brother."

"H'…!" he sobbed, shocked. She hit his limit. He figured he would never stop crying now.

"How… huh-how can you say something like that…? How can you be so… be s-so cold-hearted…?"

Horohoro and Rio who had stayed the night at the inn that day glanced up at the small disturbance from the hallway. When Anna came in hauling Yoh by the neck, they both jumped up.

"What is going on?" Rio demanded at the same time Horohoro muttered a "what the…?"

"It's none of your business, now shut up you two." Anna raged, jerking Yoh forward, allowing them to see his tears. He mouthed 'help me' through them with a pleading look all over his face.

Horohoro's humor went bitter. He wanted to pound Anna down for (what he thought anyway) making him cry. He'd never seen Yoh cry before… like he would know the reason.

"Please…!" Yoh's unsteady whisper was barely audible.

"Please help me!"

Horohoro, hearing this, and the sobs that followed, jolted, a now fairly angry look invading his warm face.

"Anna!!" he shouted. He wasn't afraid of her. Not when it meant helping his friend.

"Let him go! You're hurting him!"

"Oh I'll give you hurt." She barked, slamming Yoh down against the floor and latching on his weights to his ankles. He made no attempt to stop her; he couldn't the sobs and trembling that racked his body made him incredibly weak.

"What did the chief do to anger you so much?" Rio snapped lightly. Seeing him cry like that was not a thing he could stay calm under.

"He shouted at me. And that's," she began icily, clicking the wrist weights on him violently and standing him up by jerking up on his arm.

"Not something I take kindly to; from ANYONE. You'll be next, Usui."

"Ta tell ya the truth," Horohoro growled,

"I could care less. LEAVE YOH ALONE."

"I am pretty well sure he had already told you to once, didn't he?" Rio added.

"Well then I must be contrary, excuse me." She hissed, shoving Yoh out the door.

It would be a long time before he came back.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Anna wandered the halls. Yoh was still out, and she figured so, for he was of course crying and legs don't seem to want to work well when this is true, and the sky was beginning to drop its night blanket. She didn't expect him back for another hour or so.

Rio and Horohoro had gone back to the apartment they had rented after she forced them to do the invisible chair for a nice long three hours.

Altogether, Yoh had been gone for five.

She shuffled into his bare room, much more calm than before. She'd thought about him quite a bit in those five hours, yet still, no matter what, she would never take any of it back.

Glancing around dully as if she would be caught by anyone other than the numerous ghosts that inhabited the house, she rested her hand against the wall until her bare foot met something that crinkled softly. She gazed down to find a page of dulled paper protruding from under his dresser. She bent down to pick it up, and numerous other pages slipped out.

The pages were wrinkled slightly, and the inked words were stained and blurred from tears. Her brow furrowed lightly as she began reading Yoh's messy calligraphy. The first poem he wrote read,

_You see someone_

_They may not see you_

_Back._

_But you go to help anyway._

_They're crying_

_You want to help._

_She's a total stranger._

_But still_

_You want to help._

_Just another kid_

_On the side of the _

_Road who scraped_

_Her knee_

_And says it hurts._

_What about me?_

_Why can't you _

_Do the same for me_

_When it hurts?_

_You just stand there_

_Your eyes cold._

_Dead._

_I'm hurt too._

_I may not be crying…_

_Yet, _

_But still I want you _

_To care._

_What if I was dying?_

_What if I was _

_Fading_

_Away…?_

_What would you do?_

_Am I_

_Just another kid_

_In the hospital?_

_To you, _

_What do I mean?_

_Am I really…_

_Just another kid_

_You don't care about?_

_Why is it you'll _

_Help the kid on the _

_Side of the road_

_Who scraped her knee_

_And says it hurts_

_But not me_

_When I could be here,_

_Lying in this bed, _

_Inches from death,_

_Sick, _

_Dying,_

_Fading_

_Away…? _

_Am I _

_Just another kid _

_to you?_

_That can't be it. _

_You care _

_More for those kids who_

_Sit on the side of the road_

_And tend to their_

_Little scrapes…_

_Can't you_

_Tend to mine?_

_The scrape is in my heart._

_You put it there._

_You don't care _

_About me anymore, _

_Do you?_

_Now I really am_

_Just another kid_

_Aside form those_

_You'll help_

_On the side of _

_The road_

_Who says it hurts._

_But mine hurts more._

She wondered what it all meant. Was he referring to her…? If he is, she thought hotly, then I'm upping his training hours as soon as he gets home and that little bastard won't see the inside of this house till sundown tomorrow!

Then she thought about it.

The next one was a bit more muddled. More tear stained. More shaky.

_Maybe you can't see it_

_But I can._

_Of course I can._

_It's happening _

_To me._

_Maybe that's why_

_You don't care,_

_Why you don't want _

_To see?_

_If someone else_

_Is crying_

_Usually people go _

_To help._

_So what about you?_

_I was there for you._

_I helped you pull through._

_I saved you_

_When you were_

_Feeling down._

_So what about me?_

_That's right. _

_You don't care._

_Just this once…_

_When I'm hurt_

_Emotionally_

_And crying_

_Why do you _

_Suddenly go blind?_

_Of course. _

_When you finally_

_Do see_

_You tease me._

_If it's okay to cry_

_Why do so many people_

_Tease you when_

_It happens…?_

_I just wanted _

_To know you cared._

_Why is it that you_

_Hate me back instead?_

_I can't stand it _

_Anymore._

_You'll make me cry _

_Harder._

_So I'll just run away._

_The tears are gone_

_For now._

_But you are not._

_You pound me_

_With all these_

_Reasons_

_Why I should hate_

_Myself_

_My life_

_My dreams_

_My dreams of you_

_One day helping me._

_And so I'll _

_Start again._

_I can't help it._

_What else can I do?_

_You hate me_

_For showing human _

_Emotion._

_For showing human_

_Tears._

_Are you saying _

_That just because _

_I am Yoh I can't_

_Cry _

_Like the rest of you?_

_Fine._

_I'll leave. _

_But I won't _

_Promise you_

_That when I come back_

_My eyes will be dry._

_You've had your_

_Turn to cry._

_What about me?_

_Can't I have one too?_

_You're supposed to _

_Help._

_Help relax_

_Help calm_

_Help comfort_

_The person who_

_Is crying._

_Like I did for you._

_So why do you_

_Show this comfort_

_To anyone _

_But me…?_

_Sure._

_I said before._

'_I never cry,_

_You don't need _

_To worry abut _

_Me.'_

_But I lied._

_Now I want you_

_To care._

_Let me in your arms._

_Can't you let me_

_Cry in your arms?_

_Be a good fiancé._

_Help me._

_Please,_

_Help me…_

_Every memory I _

_Have of you_

_Ended with me _

_In tears._

_But things are_

_Supposed to be_

_Different now._

_We are older._

_Supposedly more_

_Secure…_

_But not me._

_You broke me._

_I should be able to _

_Handle it…_

_Right?_

_No, my heart_

_Is shattered…_

_Can't you help me_

_Pick up the pieces…?_

_Thanks Anna._

_Thanks for nothing._

_I killed _

_My own brother._

_How did you _

_Think_

_I was going to _

_Take it?_

_Throw a party?_

_Throw Kleenex _

_Instead._

_I'm gonna _

…

It was unfinished… and he WAS referring to him… she realized a lot of things then. She interrupted his writing (well, so she thought, he'd of course given up on his own)… how much Hao really did mean to him… how he honestly felt about it; about her… about his own life…

She had the urge to remove everything sharp from his room then, fearing what he might do if she had pushed him any harder.

How far she had already pushed him.

She hugged the frenzied pages to her chest and sighed mournfully, realizing what she had done to Yoh… to her poor Yoh… He was right. How COULD she possibly be so cold-hearted…? She didn't understand it… she loved him so much, yet she treated him like… like dirt. Ignored him any other time other than when he was crying and didn't answer her (and simply ignored the tears as she had done earlier this night) and made him train harder and harder… was she killing him? Killing his soul…?

She didn't want to loose him.

So why did she do all those things to him…?

She just didn't understand…

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Anna stood by the door, waiting for Yoh's return. She still held to the tattered pages close to her heart.

It was dark; very dark. She wondered if he would ever return... Would he run away? Could warm-hearted Yoh honestly ever run away from her…?

She sure had given him reason to.

Heavy gasps for air came from outside the thin door, and a thump against the wood signaled his arrival. He used the door as a support for his weakened body.

Anna simply waited for him to stumble in before she would announce her presence.

He staggered in, still winded and choking down air. His eyes were dry but he kept that dazed, watery look. Even after five hours… He wasn't crying anymore, but it was obvious he was still distressed about it all. In his attempt to simply breathe, he hadn't noticed Anna standing there beside the door.

"Yoh," she called quietly.

He jolted violently and nearly fell backwards out the door. She was unsure if it was because of her alone, or if it were because her voice was unsuspected. It seemed like both to her, for he backed himself up against the wall, his eyes wide.

Realizing how he must look, Yoh dropped is gazed and braced himself for a slap. Anna had no such intention to do so, and came forward. With ever step she took he became ore and more tense until she was finally before him. By then he was fighting tears of trepidation.

"Yoh…" she said again, setting the pages down on the table and pulled him onto an embrace. He gave a startled mumble and stiffened, but relaxed when he recognized the soft touch and her soothing voice.

"I'm so sorry…"

He had no answer and stood, still a bit rigid, biting down on his lip to keep his tears down that he could have drawn blood. He wanted to back away, to get away from her, but when her intentions became fully clear to him, he settled and accepted the embrace, allowing his tears to fall. What he had fretted however happened – they landed atop her head.

She gazed up at him, her eyes loosing the intensity they had from when he had left late that afternoon. She whipped a tear from his face and rubbed his cheek.

"Please forgive me, Yoh…" she pleaded quietly.

He wasn't sure if he should nod or cry harder.

It was a little of both. He broke down completely as she mentioned the poems he had written.

"Those… poems you wrote… are they really about me…?"

He nodded tensely, unsure if he would be punished.

"I'm sorry Anna, I… I didn't mean to—"

"Shh... It's okay." She coaxed gently, placing two fingers across his trembling lips.

"It's okay… I'm not angry anymore. I understand how you feel now. …Will you… ever finish that poem…?"

He had no answer. Any way he thought of ending it would be terribly bitter on her end. The thought of her reaction made his tears begin to flow harder, faster, and violent sobs intruded his chest. He lowered his head, and felt Anna's forehead meet his.

"Okay, okay…" she coed softly.

"No more tears… you'll be alright Yoh…"

She would be sure if it.

* * *

really long i know, and i'm sorry! but those poems take up a lot of space... 

review please!

and hey, who knows, maybe i'll update the story that's on-hold for reviews! X3


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